What Love Means... To Kids and To Me...

Oftentimes people tend to use the word "Love" a lot in their daily conversation. It seems that the word may have lost it's context with each passing day.

Allow me to share a personal experience as starters. After seeing each other for a while, I offered to cook her dinner one evening as she looked so tired when she walked out of her office. We drove down to a nearby hypermarket and I went on a spree to obtain all the ingredients necessary to cook dinner.

She seemed somewhat surprised with the bags of items I bought. She didn't comment but she had a smile on her face as we drove back. When we got home, I got her to take a leisurely bath and leave the cooking to me. Having taken her bath, she sneaked up on me as I was cooking and peeked over my shoulder as she asked why did I offered to cook that day?

I automatically replied and said that I did it because I loved her. Her expression changed and she looked somewhat grim. I asked her what's wrong and she said that it was the word "love". She asked me if I was sure of that I really "loved" her and it wasn't just a case on infatuation or attraction which may fade after a while.

What she said left me thinking and changed our relationship for ever. Wanna know what happened then? You have to read about it at the end of the post...

So going back to the topic at hand, this particular piece has been floating about in cyberspace for a while now, with minor variations. A group of professionals apparently posed the question " What does love means? " to a group of 4-8 years olds. The answers may just astound you...

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails any more. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," - We really need to have more kids like this one in the world...

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody! You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

<<< . >>>

So, what happened then with the relationship? I was left somewhat dumbstruck for a few moments at what she had to say. And I started thinking about the times we spent together laughing, smiling, talking, fantasizing, crying, hoping and praying... And I realized at that point as well that I have finally found the one I wanted to spend my lifetime with...

So I told her that yes, I was sure that I loved her and I would really really hope and pray that the feeling's mutual. Her eyes started to water and she said that it was what she wanted too... And we never let a day go by without saying those three words to each other.

When a friend once asked what was the secret to our close relationship, I told him of what happened then... His only question at the end of it was, "Did she like the dinner you cooked her?"

Well, the tofu and veggies she enjoyed... But I was cooking the chicken when she posed me the question. It ended up burned... But we finished it anyway and she said it tasted good regardless... Is that love? You tell me...

What Everyone Should Know....

I came across this post when I was just fooling around the internet earlier... Talk about finding the secrets of living.. :)

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in Miracles
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you are loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift
46. Don’t spend your life WONDERING. Take chances. You might never know what really happens if you try.
47. Don’t settle for something less than what you deserve.

Well said.... Anyone wants to add some more?

Tax...

Had a somewhat taxing day today (pun intended)...

First up there was a crisis on the home stead which delayed things a little and actually threw me off my schedules... Secondly, choosing today as the day I would be filing income tax returns certainly wasn't a good idea...

When I got down to the Inland Revenue Board office, the scenario seemed somewhat similar to the last warehouse sale I attended, which was incidentally the Crocs sale held at Mines Wonderland last year.

One thing I learned from the early years when I just started earning the bacon was that you prepare your returns back home even before you even consider stepping into the taxman's office. And that I did this time and many times previously...

That said, the calculations were somewhat rushed if you ask me as I'm hoping that I actually have sufficient receipts to claim the max in the books and computer relief category... I buy lots of books every month but sometimes the receipt gets blown in the wind or eventually sucked up by the mean faceless vacuum cleaner that probes the lower reaches of the car seat...

Anyway, I have been prodigiously paying taxes since 1999 so I must have contributed quite a tidy sum to the Federal government... They should probably grant me a year's break from my tax paying responsibilities to enable me to make a trip down to the States at year end... :p

Wishful thinking...

I guess for those who are reluctantly parting with their hard earned moolah, perhaps it's best to remember what Jesus said about paying taxes...

"Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"

"Caesar's," they replied.

Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Nuff said, won't you agree?

Love... Actually...

It was said that the greatest of all is love...

I just happened to catch the movie Love Actually on DVD. Since first seeing it some 5-6 years back, it probably ranks supreme in my favourite list. (You see I'm a lousy old romantic at heart despite everything...)

I caught some parts which despite the humor and simplicity of what was said, was priceless... A bit like the Mastercard adverts...

Sorry if it doesn't conform too much with the blog objectives. I thought that as we do try to inculcate a profound appreciation for those around us in CHOICE, loving someone in whatever we do constitute a major part of it...

Hope you enjoy the ones I feature in here:

Daniel : Tell her that you love her.
Sam : No way! Anyway, they fly tonight.
Daniel : Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was perfect everyday. You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til its over.

<<< . >>>

Mark's word were written on cardboard as she shows them to Juliet

With any luck, by next year
I'll be going out with one of these girls.
(Mark shows Juliet photos of super models)
But for now, let me say
Without hope or agenda
Just because it's Christmas
And at Christmas you tell the truth
To me, you are perfect
And my wasted heart will love you
Until you look like this.
(Mark flashes the photo of a mummy)
Merry Christmas.

As Mark walks away, Juliet runs up to him & kissed him before walking back to the house.

Mark then says, "Enough, enough now"

Note: Juliet is married to Mark's best friend & he has a crush on her.

<<< . >>>

Daniel : So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum, or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam : You really want to know?
Daniel :I really want to know.
Sam : Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel :Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam : Okay. Well, the truth is... actually... I'm in love.
Daniel :Sorry?
Sam : I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is, I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel : Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam : No.
Daniel : Oh, well, okay... right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Sam : Why?
Daniel : Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam : Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel : Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.

Sam is Daniel's step son (9 years old I think), whose mother Joanna passed away a week earlier after an illness.

<<< . >>>

Billy Mack : When I was young and successful, I was greedy and foolish, and now I'm left with no one. Wrinkled and alone.

<<< . >>>

Jamie : It's my favorite time of day, driving you. (in English)
Aurelia : It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you. (in Portugese)
Neither understood each other's language

<<< . >>>

Daniel : You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam : There was for Kate (Winslet) and Leo (Di Caprio) . There was for you. There is for me.
(holds up a finger)
Sam : She's "the one".
Daniel : Fair enough.

<<< . >>>

Prime Minister : Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.

<<< . >>>

This quote didn't come from the movie, it was from somewhere I couldn't remember but has remained imprinted in my head since I first heard it...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want him/her to, it doesn't mean that he/she doesn't love you with all he/she has....

<<< . >>>

It's pretty difficult to obtain the VCD/DVD for this movie (I should know... Took me some 4 years of hunting to find it... The other copy was bought from ebay) here in Malaysia. An outlet owner actually told me that her supplies are reserved even before they were sent to her.

So if you want a copy of it, I'd be happy to pass you a copy(burned copy... not original :p)... If you believe in love conquers all, I think this movie would be perfect for you..

BTW, if you have subscribed to Astro's Movie Channel, you may want to check the schedules there for this movie. I first saw it on Astro many years back and had come across shown from time to time.

Why The Animosity??

Note: This entry was posted on Friday, January 8th when news of the attacks were filtering in. It was an extremely uncomfortable time as I recalled. I attended Novena and Sunset Mass on Saturday and found that the church was somewhat less filled than usual.

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." Matt 5:44

I'm moving away from my normal musings as what I saw over the news today saddened me... 3 churches were attacked with molotov cocktails today... And one of which was the Assumption Church, Petaling Jaya...

Now this church holds a special place in my heart as it was there that I attended my first service with her as a so-called couple :)

It is sad that we allow emotions to get the better of us... To think that such retaliations and acts of violence would make things better or reverse the court's decisions...

It is also sad to think that one word could cause all this hoo-ha... To think that such a powerful word exist that it can shake the tenets of our faith... That it can cause so much division and discord amongst a people that share this nation...

"Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing..." Luke 23:34

It is a difficult time to be a Christian, not to mention Catholic in these times... There are times when I wonder if the word was worth its' weight with all this trouble brewing and seemingly close to boiling over...

Are we to be assured of our safety when we go to worship? Can we practise our faith without interference and fear? Would our own faith be now shaken in this hour of uncertainty and peril?

Can we not treat all and one with the same standards we measure ourself against? Allow everyone to practise their faith freely as I believe that the Almighty teaches each and everyone of us to do good upon others...

It does show I guess a certain degree of hypocrisy (if that is the right word) with the actions of the government... The appeal against the decision was filed most immediately without much of a pause for a breath...

In April last year, two journalist from Al-Islam entered the church and in their 'investigative' pursuit, they have desecrated what we Catholics believe to be holy... And up until today, these two journalists remain free without any charges brought upon them...

Forgive me Datuk Seri Home Minister? Did they not do something which could have jeopardise relations between Muslims and Catholics in the country? Should the book not be thrown at them?

I will not pretend to be learned in matters of the law or the religion... After all, I'm am but a normal human being, a sinner as well as a learner... But I hope we all take a step back and reflect on our actions...

Would what we are doing right now be what the Almighty expects of us? I can remember there was a time where this phrase was widely pasted as bumper stickers some years back... I'm however compelled to use the version said by Katherine Heigl in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, " What would Jesus freaking do???!!! "

"... Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us..." excerpt from the Lord's prayer...

<<< . >>>

Upon some reflection since posting this particular thoughts last night (Tues) I have decided that perhaps it would be good to stress that the issue where the Blessed Sacrament was defiled has been resolved.

Recently, the charges against the two journalist was dropped by the judiciary. In the aftermath of that announcement, the Archbishop of KL, Tan Sri Murphy Pakiam had openly called for the publishers as well as the journalists involved to apologize to the Catholic church.

The apology was posted on the magazine's website on March 6th as well as in the April 2010 issue of the magazine. Tan Sri Murphy gracefully accepted the apology and has stated that he considered the matter to be closed.

As such, as Catholics, I believe that we need to allow whatever personal hatred or anger over this issue to pass. It was said that to err is human, to forgive divine. Let us not harbor any further resentment over this matter any longer.

I may have erred in posting my thoughts which admittedly was written with indignation months ago, but having done so I believe that the post should remain as a reminder of our failings as humans.

Posted: April 28th, 12:11pm

Eveerything's Gonna Be Alright

Note: I wrote this piece on Sunday, January 10th this year sometime past midnight. It was prompted by the scenes that unfolded over the last few days where a few attacks were launched at churches nationwide...

I wrote this piece 3 times but is still unable to post... Will post in the morning when I get the wi-fi up and running... Mobile internet seems to be hay-wired tonight...

Well, I eventually managed to get my connection sorted out so here goes the 4th rewriting of this particular piece...

I was a bit blur when someone said those words to me earlier on Saturday...

For a second there I thought I was dreaming in lalaland... There I was walking in T-shirt, shorts & sandals being approached by this sweet lady probably in her mid twenties offering me a stalk of chrysanthemum... The bubble burst though as I saw others were doing the same... Hahahah... Like anyone can interest me... :p (Note: My mind is set on the one and only girl that has captured my heart)

Due to my sleep or rather lack of on Friday night, I was still somewhat dazed when I got up and had to run out for proper espresso before I got my day up and running... Thankfully, there's a bunch of Starbucks in BB and its' vicinity... Alternatives were also available e.g. Gloria Jeans & Coffee Bean... So espresso hunting wasn't to difficult a task...

Anyway, going back to the main piece, a succession of triple espressos did wonders in clearing the cobwebs... And I was somewhat piqued by what was happening... It was curious to say the least as there were around 30 or so youths distributing flowers...

With my curiosity level enough to kill a cat nine times, I went on and approached one of this flower activists... Now I'm using the word activist in a good sense, mindful of the so called activists who were against the Vietnam war previously in the United States... For the uninitiated, they put stalks of roses into the gun barrels of the soldiers... It gave birth to the song "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?"

So, naturally I asked what was all this about. He told me that this was the reactions to the arson attacks the previous day on churches in the Klang valley... They were sending out a message to all malaysians that we are united and we will respect each other...

Echoing his words was a banner measuring about 5-6 feet long with colourful letters spelling the words... It was obviously a rush job but it was probably one of the best banners I have seen in a long time... This is simply because the banner proclaimed words of faith, hope, belief and probably more importantly solidarity irregardless of race, colour, religion and any separating standards humanity created... Amazing what four words can do...

It certainly warms the heart that these youngsters were mindful of such matters... What was supposed to be a decadent generation has shamed the others by leading an act of goodwill towards not only one of their own but to others, reaching out to humanity...

I think it is best to set aside any feeling of anger, hatred, animosity and hostility... God in any name did not and will not condone what has happened whatever the reasons or justification behind it... Are we really that unreasonable that a compromise cannot be reached over this matter?

Let us not aggravate this matter further... Let justice runs it course and accept that as what is willed by God... Let not these cracks widen to a chasm which would be unbridgable...

To Christians in general and Catholics in particular, remain steadfast in your faith... What God puts you to, He'll put you through... Pray instead for everyone, the country, the leaders, the people and humanity... Let common sense prevail in these hours of crisis...

And my dear sisters and brothers, let us forgive each other... Whatever the fault, whatever the slight... Remember what our Lord said, "Forgive them for they know not what they are doing..."

Thy Lord has not forsaken thee...

Let There Be Peace

This was an interesting blog entry that I came across in the aftermath of the church arson and related matters which happened several months back... Perhaps if Malaysians want to know how to live in harmony, it's best the look at how innocent kids treat each other without the prejudice imbued in them by corrupted adult minds...

I recalled the day after the attacks, a bunch of youngsters of different backgrounds, race and I assume, religion came together and gathered at Bukit Bintang's traffic light giving flowers to passers by... I wrote a blog entry on that as well which I will copy into this blog after this posting.

Why do I mention this incident? We can try to forget it as a crazy moment in the history of our nation and just dismiss it or we can accept that it is a festering problem that can only get worst... I still believe that we have to reach out and turn the other cheek, even if it hurts... As Mother Theresa said once, " You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God, it was never between you and them anyway..."

Let There Be Peace ....
Jan 12, 2010 05:40 AM

I may be crucified or excommunicated by this, but what the heck. I believe that this may be a solution for everyone. It's never a shame to concede for others. Merely living what the Lord wants us to.

Every year on January 1st, Catholics around the world would gather in cathedrals, churches and chapels to pray for peace. The prayers are offered not only for themselves but for all others, inclusive so to speak. I attended one such service this year where everyone fervently offered prayers for the church, the congregation, their neighbors, the country and generally for humanity.

How quickly things can change in this age. There seems to be a general feeling of hostility and mistrust between religions which if left unchecked would lead to the detriment of the nation. The arson attacks on several churches has shattered the long held belief that one of the safest place for Christians worldwide would be in a church.

We may choose to ignore it but the reality is the nation currently having a nightmare that threatens to become a reality. It would take just that one small spark to set off a powder keg of chaos. And unless we close ranks and unite, a tragedy could be just around the corner.

In these troubled times, a moment of reflection and a cool head is a necessity for each and every one of us. Do our words, deeds and actions contribute to the solution or are we fanning the flames further? Or are we content to just sit back and watch events unfold believing that it is the responsibility of others to solve this malaise we are in?

Lest we forget that Malaysia is our country, our nation to be proud of and to defend when in peril. It belongs to you as much as it belongs to me. Would we stand by the sidelines and watch our property be destroyed by others or would we take action to protect it?

We are in a crisis. A crisis of trust and acceptance or rather, lack of it. A crisis which can bring the edifice of this great nation to tumble down in ruins. A crisis that is like a hemorrhage that if not stemmed would bring our proud nation down to its’ knees.

We are brought up in a society that demands something for everything. I was told by an acquaintance as recently as last year that an acceptable solution and usually the only solution has to be a win-win situation. We are taught to ensure that whatever we have to offer is offered something to our benefit in return. But perhaps this time someone would have to concede defeat in order to allow the festering wounds to heal.

Our youth had made a stand by telling the nation that “Everything’s gonna be alright.” I was one of those who were lucky enough to have received a stalk of flower from our very own flower activists reminiscent of their popular predecessors who opposed the Vietnam war decades back. What struck me was attitude in which they went about saying reassuring everyone with a smile to go along with it.

Echoing their thoughts was the banner which they carried around. Obviously prepared in haste, it was colorful and striking. Many would even say that it was badly written but then that would be missing the point. For me, the banner was one of faith, hope and belief. That is what matters. People of different race, religious beliefs, backgrounds and whatever standard the society judges on came together to make their stand clear and their voices heard.

Every religion promotes peace, understanding as well as respect. It is unfortunate that among us, they are opportunists with hidden agendas who may play master puppeteer for their own interest. Islam is not anti Christianity and neither is Christianity anti Islam. But as the saying goes, it takes but one rotten apple to spoil the whole basket.

Let us all regardless of faith offer up prayers asking for calm heads in the swirling storm that is massing ahead. Also that the leaders of the nation as well as the religious leaders be given wisdom, discernment as well as an open heart to work hand in hand to solve this matter that will not cause further a further crack in the already fragile state the nation is in. Let us not allow these cracks to widen to an unbridgeable chasm before we decide to take action.

I am not a religious man by any lengths. I cannot speak on behalf of the Muslims in the country. Neither am I qualified to speak for my brethrens who share my faith. But I do have a plea to my sisters and brothers in the Catholic faith. In the interest of peace as well as the country we call home, perhaps it is time to take the first step towards reconciliation and healing. Please consider dropping our claims for the right to use the word “Allah” in our publications, printed materials and worship.

If there is one thing I am sure of about the God I have faith in is that whatsoever name we refer Him as, it would be meaningless if our hearts are filled with all kind of putrid hatred, hostility or anger. Would winning the ‘right’ to use the word “Allah” ensure that our prayers would reach the Lord in heaven? Would it be too much for us all to sacrifice for the greater good and more importantly for peace? Is there no sense of forgiveness in our heart that we are so hell-bent to take the fight to the distance over the word.

When I woke up on this day, the furthest thing in my mind was to write this plea to my fellow Catholics. But having attended the evening service today in church left me feeling somewhat melancholic. As I regularly attend this particular service, the church would normally be packed to the brim every weekend. However, today the church was half full. Is paranoia over safety keeping the absentees away?

Are we only going to act when services are called off due to threats or lack of a congregation? Would it be satisfying then to have fought for our rights to the word “Allah”? All it takes is for a few irresponsible persons to start a wave of attack which strikes fear into every Catholic. And when the provocateur gets to the nerves of their target, who’s to say what will or will not happen? Let us be mindful that in order to bring change to the world, we have to take the first step ourselves.

Many Catholics may be familiar with this song which is commonly sung on January 1st every year. Perhaps, we should reflect on the words rather than making rash decisions which we may live to regret.

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be
With God as our Father
Brothers all are we
Let me walk with my brothers
In perfect harmony

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow
To take each moment
And live each moment
In peace eternally
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me…

God bless Malaysia and Malaysians…

Note: It warmed my heart to see that CHOICE KL took the non confrontational stance when the Coordinator, Mr Lincoln Lee sending out an email asking the Choicees to pray for everyone involved in the incidets. If memory serves me right, the intention was offered during Mass at Our Lady of Lourdes, Klang earlier this year...

The Prodigal Son

I recently went on a self imposed exile in order to evaluate facets of my life which may have been found wanting.

For some reason or another, since I attended CHOICE, most if not all of my confessions have been somewhat the most sincere conversations I have had in my lifetime with a fellow human being. Before my meandering away from the church for many a year, I approached confession as a tedious affair. Something I have to go through at least twice a year, pre-Christmas and pre-Easter.

Since returning to the fold like the prodigal son, I have tried to live life the way I'm supposed to. But alas, I am only human. I have yet to rid myself of all my vices which I have been comfortable with all the while. And it doesn't get easier either. From a free spirit who didn't give a damn about what was happening around him, to someone who needs to stop every few moments thinking if what I've just done or what I'm going to do is the right thing.

I guess having gone down this road where my colorful past was haunting me in many ways I can certainly feel God's love in the actions and words of people closest to me. I have disappointed a lot of people with my actions and of course betrayed their trust in me. For all my actions, I'm truly sorry. I hope that one day soon, I would be able to face up to it and say it in person.

So, perhaps CHOICE has made a difference in a more profound manner than I actually thought. For some reason or another, I didn't think that I'd end up writing all this as well as the previous post when I woke up today. But I guess that in order to start any healing process, there is a need to seek forgiveness.

A song that was played recently during the Lenten season, The Prodigal Son stirred something deep inside. I first heard that song some 10 years or so previously when I attended a Mass at my home parish. The next time I heard it was at the funeral of a dear family friend who died a tragic and to a certain extent, lonely death.

The song goes as follows;

Father I have sinned
Help me find my way
Remember not my sins
Just let me hear you say

I forgive you, I love you
You are mine, Take my hands
Go in peace, Sin no more
Beloved one

Father I have turned
My back and walked away
Depended on my strength
And loved life my own way

I forgive you, I love you
You are mine, Take my hands
Go in peace, Sin no more
Beloved one

Father I have closed
My heart to those in need
Thought only of myself
A victim of my greed

I forgive you, I love you
You are mine, Take my hands
Go in peace, Sin no more
Beloved one

Father I have loved
If love is the word to use
I've played so many games
They've left me so confused

I forgive you, I love you
You are mine, Take my hands
Go in peace, Sin no more
Beloved one

Father I've returned
I'm home with you to stay
Standing by your door
Knowing you will say

I forgive you, I love you
You are mine, Take my hands
Go in peace, Sin no more
Beloved one

When I heard the song sung at my friend's funeral, I can only sob uncontrollably. Even until today, whenever I revisit the memories of that sad day by watching a recording of the funeral, I am still moved to shed a tear for him.

A Story

An extremely virulent disease was hitting the world. It started out in Africa and it spread like wild bushfire that was assisted by the billowing winds.

Within 6 weeks of it's discovery, there wasn't a place in the world where it hasn't spread its' deadly tentacles to.

The unnamed disease was so widespread that a team of scientist was assembled from amongst the finest minds in the world of medicine, virology, biology etc. This team was kept in a self contained facility drilled deep into the side of Mount Kinabalu, the highest peak in South East Asia. Their brief was simple, find a way to stop the disease before it wipes out humanity from the face of the earth.

Six months had passed since the first case was reported. 700 million has died since then with some 1.5 billion more stricken with various stages of the disease. Death was in fact welcome for those who were infected. The deterioration of the body as the disease sucks the life out of the sufferers was more dreadful than death itself.

Many in the world was in despair. They were staring at death in the eyes but are unable to do anything about it... Some turned to their faith and believed that God has a plan despite the suffering while others cursed whichever God they had put their trust in the past over this malaise. Others still sit in utter despair and hopelessness not knowing what else can they do.

The scientist on the other hand, were close to developing a serum to fight the disease. Teams were sent worldwide to collect blood samples from the uninfected in order to learn of their body to withstand the infection.

As the saying goes, it is always the darkest before the dawn. From the depths of despair, a news flash came through like a shining light in the darkness. The scientist have a breakthrough!

As the news filtered through all channels worldwide, people rejoiced with reckless abandon. Strangers were hugging, kissing and dancing in the streets without a care in the world. Civilization was going to be safe after all!

Martin was standing at his porch admiring the beautiful sunset whilst thinking of the plans he had for the future which he feared he would never accomplished just days before. He was jolted back into reality when a convoy of police vehicles and what looked like an ambulance stopped in front of his house with the lights flashing and sirens blaring.

He was approached by two police officers who confirmed his identity before asking him of the whereabouts of his son, Joshua. Martin was bewildered and sought an explanation as to what the police wanted with his son, who was only 6 years old.

A man in a white lab coat introduced himself as Dr Lucian took Martin aside and explained that based on the test that was conducted with blood samples worldwide, it was discovered that Joshua's blood was totally immune to the dreaded disease. In fact, it was from his blood sample that the serum was formulated.

As Joshua was taken to the hospital accompanied by the police outriders, Martin was extremely proud of the fact that Joshua would provide the serum that would save the world. Despite Joshua's apparent fear, Martin soothed him with words of encouragement and praise.

Joshua was wheeled into a examination room at the hospital where a bit of his blood would be extracted for the serum production. Martin waited in the visitor's area with a sense of foreboding and trepidation which belied his earlier pride.

After a while, Dr Lucian came out of the room with a grave look apparent on his face. Martin asked immediately if anything was wrong with Joshua's blood. Dr Lucian shook his head and sighed deeply before explaining the situation at hand to Martin.

Joshua's blood was a proven factor in combating the disease. However, due to the amount of serums needed worldwide, a lot of Joshua's blood is needed to formulate the mass production of the serum. As a result of that, Joshua will not be able to survive such a scenario considering his tender years.

Martin was distraught when he heard this. He was unwilling to sacrifice his son in order to save the whole world. This can't be right can it?

After some moments of reflection and prayer, Martin was resigned to the fact that he has to make the biggest sacrifice a father can make. He has to give up his son in order to save the world.

When Martin spoke to Joshua one last time before the procedure, he held back the tears when the angelic boy asked him, "Father, why did you let them prick me with the painful needles?"

He was at a lost for an answer. Instead, he just said, "I'm sorry son. One day the world will understand what you have gone through..."

Dr Lucian tapped Martin on the shoulder saying, "It is time..."

3 months later
__________

A memorial service was held at the biggest venue in the land. Some 150,000 attended the service. It was attended by the heads of nations, royalties and the common public alike.

Martin was seated at the front of the service as he heard of re-enactment of what happened the fateful day when he lost his little angel. He was touched by the words of consolation and appreciation that was expressed by those invited to speak.

As he turned to survey the crowd behind him, he was seething with anger and despair. He saw amongst the crowd many were in conversation with each other, half asleep or merely texting on their mobile devices.

In his frustration he stood up and said, " Can't you all even spare an hour or so in remembrance and respect of the son I have lost in order to save all of you? "

Epilogue
______

I was one of the crowd in the past. I walked away from the church perhaps subconsciously putting the blame on God for all the misadventures which had befallen me.

I was unwilling to spend an hour weekly in memorial of a loving and merciful God who had sacrificed His only Son for my salvation. I went into a self imposed isolation and lived a life devoid of any personal relationships sans my working one.

I stayed away for a good 7 years before I ventured back to church due to some unexplained longing in my heart. And the very first Mass I attended in donkey years introduced me to CHOICE.

And thanks to CHOICE, I am slowly learning to let go of the past that has plagued me for many years. What would the future hold for me? Of that I'm unsure... But I do know who walks by my side day by day...

Note: My apologies if the story seems a bit disjointed. I wrote it out within 40 minutes. Just got carried away when I started writing. Maybe, I should take a journalistic course to pen better...

Shepherds Fold website

I stumbled upon this website as I was searching for some bible references earlier. I thought that it may be a good website to bookmark for times when you need some assistance and/or guidance from above... The web address is www.shepherdsfold.com

I thought that it was well designed and set up. Clutter free navigation and the fact that it featured the rosary as well as the chaplet of mercy seems suspiciously Catholic... :)

Some verses on faith and trust

(James 1:3) 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

(Hebrews 11:1) 1 Now faith is assurance of things hoped for, proof of things not seen.

(Luke 7:50) 50 He said to the woman, "“Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”"

(Mark 16:16) 16 He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who disbelieves will be condemned.

(Matthew 9:29) 29 Then he touched their eyes, saying, "“According to your faith be it done to you.”"

(Ephesians 2:8) 8 for by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,

(I John 5:4) 4 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world: your faith.

(I John 5:14) 14 This is the boldness which we have toward him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us.

(Ephesians 6:16) 16 above all, taking up the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one.

(James 1:6) 6 But let him ask in faith, without any doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed.

(John 3:36) 36 One who believes in the Son has eternal life, but one who disobeys the Son won’t see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.”

(Matthew 9:22) 22 But Jesus, turning around and seeing her, said, "“Daughter, cheer up! Your faith has made you well.”" And the woman was made well from that hour.

(Hebrews 11:6) 6 Without faith it is impossible to be well pleasing to him, for he who comes to God must believe that he exists, and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him.

(Luke 17:6) 6 The Lord said, "“If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you would tell this sycamore tree, ‘Be uprooted, and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

(Mark 9:23-24) 23 Jesus said to him, "“If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”" 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out with tears, “I believe. Help my unbelief!”

(Mark 11:23-24) 23 For most certainly I tell you, whoever may tell this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and doesn’t doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is happening; he shall have whatever he says. 24 Therefore I tell you, all things whatever you pray and ask for, believe that you have received them, and you shall have them.

(James 2:14-17) 14 What good is it, my brothers, if a man says he has faith, but has no works? Can faith save him? 15 And if a brother or sister is naked and in lack of daily food, 16 and one of you tells them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled;” and yet you didn’t give them the things the body needs, what good is it? 17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead in itself.

(James 2:19-24) 19 You believe that God is one. You do well. The demons also believe, and shudder. 20 But do you want to know, vain man, that faith apart from works is dead? 21 Wasn’t Abraham our father justified by works, in that he offered up Isaac his son on the altar? 22 You see that faith worked with his works, and by works faith was perfected; 23 and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him as righteousness;” and he was called the friend of God. 24 You see then that by works, a man is justified, and not only by faith.

Shout To The Lord at Holy Rosary Brickfields

My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love

My comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord
All the Earth, let us sing
Power and majesty
Praise to the King
Mountains bow down
And the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name

I sing for joy at the works
Of Your hands
Forever I'll love You
Forever I'll stand
Nothing compares
To the promise I have
In You

I was at Holy Rosary Church (HRC) , Brickfields last Saturday attending the Sunset Mass & Novena service. Admittedly I went there as I had wanted to catch a football match that evening which was scheduled to start at 7:40pm.

Having been to a number of churches in KL, I found that the atmosphere at HRC was a rather quaint and it reminded me a lot of my earlier years when I started to understand more about the religion.

Why so you may ask? Coming from a parish where the Mass moves methodically, I was under the impression that things were a bit messy here in KL. Having been an altar server for close to six years was an excellent education on the significance of the rites etc.

At HRC however, it seemed like a throwback in time. Like I was taken to an age perhaps 15 years ago as I was growing up. Instead of the normal multimedia projector, HRC uses old school OHP (overhead projectors). Now that really reminds me of my responsibilities in secondary school. I was usually sweetly asked by the teachers to go down 2-3 flights of stairs to collect the OHP for use of the class. And after the class was over, I had to return it to the staff room again. Little wonder that I was the defending champion in the throwing events for 5 consecutive years then. Must be the weight I was carrying up and down the stairs daily.

Another anomaly was that Novena to Our Blessed Mother and Benediction is done after Mass. As such the whole service ends around 6:45pm. I have rediscovered the benediction after being shorned of it for over a decade.

Back in my home parish, I could vaguely recall the parish priest informing us that Benediction can't be done before Mass or something.... Give me a break, I was like 13-14 then. As such I haven't attended a Benediction for donkey years. Add the fact that I was a "lost sheep" for a good 7 years, I definitely missed my fair share of the developments.

On new year's day this year, I was moved to attend the Peace Mass held at a church in a town where I was visiting. Lo and behold, they had the Benediction before Mass following the Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. The words to the hymn "Mary From Thy Sacred Image" and "Down In Adoration" came effortlessly that it even surprised me. I felt a strange stirring within me as I felt warmth all over.

I found out later at the end of February that The Church of Our Lady of Fatima had Novena and Benediction at 6pm every Saturday. Since then, I had frequented the service as I offer my petitions. There's this belief that praying over intentions for 9 consecutive weekends could possibly make it come true.

I hope that's the case. I'm not keeping the score but I reckon I have been faithfully attending for about 6 or 7 weeks now discounting Easter Triduum where there wasn't a service scheduled.

I apologize as I'm going off track. I included this song as a posting as it is a song that I haven't heard since my days with Young Christian Students (YCS) back in school. I was pleasantly surprised to hear it being played again after over 15 years.

Anyways, have a blessed evening and week ahead. No guarantees when will my next post be. Please feel free to comment and propose what I should write about.