This particular post of mine was prompted by a message I received earlier this morning from a cousin who had a liking for the most unbelievably complex and crazy questions out of the blue. His text read like this, “What's the difference between love and passion?”
I have to admit that it wouldn't be easy to answer the question. So perhaps before I can get down to enunciating what I think about it personally, it would be wise of me to see what my religion says about it.
The best point of reference from the Bible would probably come from Paul (not the football results predicting octopus) in his 1st letter to the Corinthians.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." (1 Cor 13:4-7)
St Thomas Aquinas probably gave it the best summary when he said that love was to will good of another, irregardless friend or foe. He went on to explain that the love that we Christians should profess is one that is motivated by the need to see others do well in life.
I had the opportunity to read “The Four Loves” from C.S. Lewis (yes the one who wrote about Narnia) some time back where he explored the nature of love that a human can profess. Through his research and observation, he came upon the conclusion that the love is an extremely complex and complicated thing.
And he thus formulates a basis for love by dividing love into four different categories which he identified through their Greek words. The first being the less popular Affection (storge) which he described as the most basic of love. One that is usually shared between family members or between friends.
It was described as natural as the feeling of fondness presents itself without being forced. It is normally present due to familiarity. It is normally also dismissed out of hand as it is considered to be almost worthless due to the fact that the valuable characteristics that would normally make one worthy of love is normally absent.
As a result of this characteristic, such a relationship is able to transcend the most discriminating of factors, e.g. human weakness, physical or otherwise. The irony of the this is that the strength of this category of love also makes it weak. According to Lewis, the feeling comes almost ready made and as such is expected irregardless of the behavior or actions of those concerned.
Then Lewis was in the opinion that the next category of love is Friendship (Phileo) which is a strong bond existing between individuals who share a common interest or activity. This definition of friendship however is not similar to that of companionship which he went on to explore in the remaining two categories.
The 3rd category of love according to Lewis is Eros. In a nutshell, he described it as love in the sense of 'being in love'. Technically it means “Intimate Love”. Of course in Greek mythology, Eros was the God of love and beauty. I'm no language nor literary expert but I believed that he was trying to put forth the point that this category of love was more physical in nature. It was one that is fueled on the sexual emotions that one get from physical or emotional attraction. Then again I may be wrong.
And the final category of love is Charity (Agape). It is also known as unconditional love. Love that knows no bounds. One that I personally believe is a reflection of Paul's ode about love in his letter to the Corinthians.
That is the take from the eyes of the religion as well as from that of a celebrated writer whose work was read by yours truly. You'll need to read the book to come to your own conclusions over that matter.
Anyway, now we move on to my personal point of view over this matter. I guess we need to dissect and look at the two main words, that is “passion” and “love”. Since I had covered on “love” rather extensively as an introduction, it's probably proper that I look at the word “passion” instead now.
What actually is this animal called passion? Is it just lust getting out of hand? Inconceivable care that we shower upon another? Boundless excitement and enthusiasm? Some unexplainable deep deep intense emotions and feelings inside?
IMHO, a whole lot of people in this world would confuse passion for love... I believe that those most susceptible to this would be those who are young and/or inexperienced in a relationship. The raging hormones inside definitely play a role in all that.
That feeling of euphoria that you feel inside whenever that special someone is around. The strong emotion you feel as you can't get him/her out of your mind. The sense that everything you see or hear around you reminds you of that someone. That attraction that two person have toward each other which is pulling them closer. Unfortunately, all these feelings may appear synonymous with love.
They say then when the “three year mark” is reached, the passion dies down and the relationship hits a plateau... That is probably a true test of true love... Would we still feel the same way or would we be suffocated by the relationship? Some had refused to let go and live in denial simply because they are afraid of change... Afraid of letting go what they have in case they can't find another...
I think that love is all about sacrifice. It is when that special someone's happiness is more important than your own. I think that unconditional love is the way your mom would give up her life for yours without thinking twice. Love is the when you give up what you want to put see the smile on your loved one's face. Love is also evident when that someone is hurting, your heart hurts even more to see your loved one in some much pain.
Love is when you disregard your own wants for what she wants. It's when you watch “Sex In The City” when you really want to watch “Transformers”. It's when you surprise her with a bunch of flowers for no reason at all. It's love when you set aside your weariness and prepare her a home cooked dinner while she soaks away blissfully in the bath tube.
And when that someone cry, you forget about yourself and you know exactly how they feel inside. And you would do and give anything at all, even to the extent of your life, to make them happy again and to protect them from all the troubles that would cause them hurt and pain.
Love is when you don't care what others say about you as long as you're that someone happy... You can be ridiculed, insulted, spat upon but it matter not what others think. What that someone thinks of you is all that matters. Being in love, I never feel like I have to hurry anywhere... I'm just happy to be with her...
Love is being strong for her even when faced with our innermost fears and demons. Love is the reserve from which strength is derived to face the blowing winds and the raging storms of life. Love is when having her hold your hands as you take the a step in that blinding darkness or down that plunging cliff.
Love is also knowing when to let go, despite all the reservations inside. Letting go in the hope that it's the best thing that could come out of a difficult and seemingly hopeless situation. Love is giving and continuing to give, with no expectations at all of any reward or favor from the recipient.
To have unconditional love be reciprocated is the best thing that could happen to some one. True love is worth every risk that you take in giving it to that special someone. I do believe that true love is worth the pain, even when you inflict in on yourself or when it's caused by the one you love. I hope that I deserve the best, but I know that that is not always possible. But all that matters to me is that she should get the best. True love will not always be a bed of roses. It will hurt sometime somewhere along the way.
Now, is that uncontrollable feeling you feel inside passion or love? Only you can answer. What is your take on it?
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